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Briefly Perfectly Human

Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End

Audiobook
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER | Named a New York Times' Staff Favorite Book of 2024 and a Boston Globe Best Book of 2024

A deeply transformative memoir that reframes how we think about death and how it can help us lead better, more fulfilling and authentic lives, from America's most visible death doula.

""A truly unique, inspiring perspective on the time we have, what we do with it, and how we let go of this world.... There is no one I'd trust more to guide me through an understanding of death, and how it informs life."" Jodi Picoult, New York Times bestselling author of Mad Honey and The Book of Two Ways

""Briefly Perfectly Human is a beautiful, raw, light-bringing experience. Alua's voice is shimmering, singular, and pulses with humor, vulnerability, insight, and refreshing candor.... Be prepared for it to grab you, hold you tight, and raise the roof on the power of human connection."" Tembi Locke, author of From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home

For her clients and everyone who has been inspired by her humanity, Alua Arthur is a friend at the end of the world. As our country's leading death doula, she's spreading a transformative message: thinking about your death—whether imminent or not—will breathe wild, new potential into your life.

Warm, generous, and funny AF, Alua supports and helps manage end-of-life care on many levels. The business matters, medical directives, memorial planning; but also honoring the quiet moments, when monitors are beeping and loved ones have stepped out to get some air—or maybe not shown up at all—and her clients become deeply contemplative and want to talk. Aching, unfinished business often emerges. Alua has been present for thousands of these sacred moments—when regrets, fears, secret joys, hidden affairs, and dim realities are finally said aloud. When this happens, Alua focuses her attention at the pulsing center of her clients' anguish and creates space for them, and sometimes their loved ones, to find peace.

This has had a profound effect on Alua, who was already no stranger to death's periphery. Her family fled a murderous coup d'état in Ghana in the 1980s. She has suffered major, debilitating depressions. And her dear friend and brother-in-law died of lymphoma. Advocating for him in his final months is what led Alua to her life's calling. She knows firsthand the power of bearing witness and telling the truth about life's painful complexities, because they do not disappear when you look the other way. They wait for you.

Briefly Perfectly Human is a life-changing, soul-gathering debut, by a writer whose empathy, tenderness, and wisdom shimmers on the page. Alua Arthur combines intimate storytelling with a passionate appeal for loving, courageous end-of-life care—what she calls "death embrace." Hers is a powerful testament to getting in touch with something deeper in our lives, by embracing the fact of our own mortality. "Hold that truth in your mind," Alua says, "and wondrous things will begin to grow around it."

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      February 12, 2024
      Arthur recalls in her elegant debut memoir how she became a death doula, providing emotional support and guidance to those who are nearing death. Eight years into a dissatisfying law career, Arthur was depressed, unmoored, and sure she’d “fumbled my way into a life I despised.” On a trip to Cuba in search of answers, she had a transformative encounter with a woman suffering from uterine cancer; when she asked how the woman felt about the possibility of dying and learned no one had posed such a question before, Arthur knew she’d stumbled into her life’s calling: “It breaks my heart that Jessica is dancing alone with death. I feel called to dance with her in that lonely place.” Interweaving the account of her journey to becoming a death doula with digressions into her legal career, romantic relationships, bouts of depression, and childhood memories of fleeing Ghana with her family in the 1980s, Arthur poignantly recalls how her clients prepared for death, whether in quiet privacy or surrounded by music, art, and friends, “in full surrender, grateful for the gift to have been... human.” Taken together, these stories portray death as simultaneously personal, universal, and unknowable, a complexity that Arthur acknowledges with consummate respect: “No certainty exists in the practice of death companioning.... The best I can do is be there with as they try to create answers for themselves.” Readers of Caitlin Doughty and Lori Gottlieb will be fascinated.

    • Library Journal

      September 13, 2024

      Death doula Arthur makes her debut with this candid, compelling autobiography. Detailing her own experiences and those of several clients, Arthur explores society's feelings toward death, from fascination to fear, and the desire to understand more about the end. When it comes to one's final days, many are, as Arthur admits to being, as curious as they are clueless. Even so, there is no denying that, as she notes, "Nobody gets out alive." Acknowledging that there are questions that can't be answered without having experienced death, Arthur focuses on the things one can prepare for and make peace with. Narrating her own work, Arthur infuses her lyrical life story with expressive emotion, from chuckling to choking back tears. Her heartfelt and reflective recountings yield an engaging and often astonishing listening experience. Arthur recognizes, and briefly addresses, having a lisp, which may catch some listeners' attention. VERDICT This audio will appeal to those seeking a moving memoir about accepting mortality with grace. Recommended for fans of inspiring autobiographies about end-of-life care, such as Amy Wright Glenn's Holding Space or Barbara Becker's Heartwood.--Lauren Hackert

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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